I can think of no other universal reference & resource than Harville Hendrix’s seminal work, “Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples” written when Dr. Hendrix was a lowly master’s level counselor yet was the seasoned master in Couples Therapy in 1988.
Buy this book. Read it once or twice. Certain technical passages require extra effort to understand Harville’s Imago Therapy. And do the exercises at the end of the book.
I would not bother with any of the offshoots, i.e. the subsequent books and workbooks. Hendrix’s original tome has the power.
I had wanted to ask have you done any papers, blogs, and what are your thoughts on married couples and dealing with the wife/husband having either online affairs emotional, physical, etc.? I have been trying to help a friend of mine with what she is dealing with its sad. But for 7 years on off she’s caught him just the postings cl messages here there very short. She is so devastated and wants to make it work. And get him the right help.
No, I am a generalist. However, I have a Page entitled “Couples Therapy” with a book I recommend that has exercises in the appendix. It is the best book I know for affordable Couples Therapy. Harville Hendrix’s “Imago Therapy” may hold the key to understanding how and why their relationship has come to that:
There’s a link to buy the book at the best price and I would get the 25th Anniversary Issue with the newly added sections and enhanced exercises. Usually, I have a copy for myself but find I am often giving it away to those whose marriages may benefit from the added insurance investing in that provides. It makes an excellent gift.
I would not bother with any other book even of the many Harville has since written nor would I bother with the associated work books. All the power is in his first book. Just read the book and do the exercises at the end. However, any couple in those straits is likely to require more professional help. Still, I’d look for a therapist or psychologist who specializes in Couples Therapy and practices Imago Therapy.
Even if they are unable to remain together, they can learn from their experience and Hendrix’s technique in a manner to be able to take apart the relationship in a way that allows each to move forward better prepared for the next relationship. Who knows? Perhaps they will rekindle their relationship and get a new start on the right track.
That’s what I am hoping for. We all benefit when we support marriage and marriages. Also, Imago Therapy does not pathologize normal marital dynamics. That is only destructive and there is no need for that; there is only a need for growth, development.
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